Men’s Mental Health Matters
Be a man. Suck it up. Boys don’t cry.
We’ve heard these things before, and these ideas can be difficult to relinquish.
Men often tell me that it has become difficult to even recognize any feelings besides anger and basic happiness; these anecdotal observations are backed by psychological research.
Many men feel pressure to suppress or ignore other important feelings such as fear, sadness, grief, confusion, warmth, and vulnerability. After a lifetime of squashing our feelings, many of us become unable to remove our armor, even when we find someone to whom we think we’d like to open up.
But why would I ever accept feeling sad or vulnerable?
Instead of thinking of your feelings as expressions of weakness, try to think of them as data.
When you feel physical pain, your body is signaling that you are may be in danger. You may not enjoy physical pain, but you would likely prefer it to sustaining a grievous injury.
Like physical sensations, emotions can provide important information about your relationships, your values, and even your physical wellness (please consult with a physician for questions about your physical health).
Pretending that you don’t have these feelings deprives you of an opportunity to grow and become an even stronger, well-rounded person.
Just as emotions provide important information, you can view emotional hardship as an opportunity to gain valuable life experience. By making the decision to grow from your painful feelings, you are making an investment in yourself.
Accepting painful or vulnerable feelings can help you let them go and move on.
“… But how could accepting feelings make them go away?”
Many of us have experienced a time when we have gotten into a minor argument that ended in an angry stalemate. The more you try to make your point with logic, the more stubborn the other person seems to become. Feelings are similar in that the more we ignore, resist, or avoid our feelings, the more likely they are to stick around and continue to bother us.
Let’s change what it means to “man up.” People of all genders have feelings. Whether you’re totally ready to talk feelings or need to do some emotional prep work, I’m ready to help you.
