Therapy Can Be Difficult
Therapy is an opportunity to experience the freedom to speak your mind to someone who is giving you their undivided attention.
It can feel wonderful to speak openly in a confidential space that is just for you. As a therapist, it is my job to create time and space for you to process, vent, reflect, cry, laugh, ask questions, and even sit quietly and experience your emotions.
In therapy, it is also normal to feel upset by what comes up when you allow yourself to discuss and feel things that you have as of yet been unable to process.
During the informed consent process, I inform folks that it is normal to experience uncomfortable feelings during the course of therapy, and that distress can temporarily increase as painful material is brought to the surface. Just as strenuous exercise can cause some soreness the next day, the hard emotional work of therapy can also sting.
How much pain is too much?
Although I believe that conversations about one’s experience of therapy should be ongoing, here are some signs that you should prioritize talking about your experience of therapy with your provider:
You start to dread coming to therapy, or are looking for reasons to cancel your sessions
You are worried about how you will handle the feelings that may arise
You feel out of control or overwhelmed between sessions
You begin to experience increased frequency or intensity of trauma-related flashbacks
You begin to experience new or increased suicidal ideation or begin engaging in risky behavior
If you feel overwhelmed, please do not hesitate to speak up so that you you can get the support that you need and deserve. Remember that your therapist is a consultant you are hiring to assist you with your mental health.
On my side of the couch, I really want to know how therapy is going for my clients so that I can provide support and make adjustments to the pace of our work. This might include:
Spending some more time building coping skills so that you can feel more sturdy when addressing difficult feelings.
Meeting more frequently (at least 2x per week) so that you can have the time and space you need to process the thoughts and feelings that have you feeling stirred up.
Changing other aspects of our approach to fit your unique needs/circumstances.
Remember: your psychotherapy is for you, and we want to know how you are feeling about the work.
